1) Wearing the same br* for at least a week.
2) Wearing that one br* about once every six weeks because it’s the only one that works with a certa*n top, and never actually washing it.
3) Wearing old br*s that are definitely the wrong size now, but you just can’t bear to part with them.
4) Putting a br* in the washing basket, and then taking it out again when you realize how uncomfortable all your other ones are.
5) Examining your tampon after it’s been ~in y*u~.
6) And realizing that “blo*d” is a pretty weak description of what a period actually is.
7) Wearing a security sanit*ry towel as well as a tamp*n.
8) Getting your pub*s trapped in a pad’s “w*ngs.”
9) Really enjoying digging out ingrown ha*rs.
10) Having whole sessions with the tweez*rs where you get every single one.
11) Making ha*r art on the shower walls from all the ha*r that falls off your head.
12) And finding it quite satisfying to pull out those stray ha*rs that get stuck in your bum cra*k.
13) Twiddling your pub*s in a totally non-se*y way.
14) Owning a pair of scissors that you exclusively use to trim your pub*s.
15) Or just trimming your pub*s with any old scissors and hoping no one notices.
16) Also giving them a haircut while sitting on the toilet and marveling at the amount you can tr*m off.
17) But also being terrified you’ll accidentally snip something very important.
18) Removing all your pub*s and then being freaked out by your nakey vagi*a.
19) Removing all your pub*s and swearing that they were hiding a whole extra tum*y roll.
20) Removing all your pub*s and enjoying the ~bre*ze~.
21) Removing all your pub*s and regretting it instantly because you look like an oversized baby.
22) Owning old knick*rs where your pub*s have actually managed to wear a hole through the front.
23) Still wearing these old knick*rs and creating a lil’ pub* ponytail through the hole.
24) Secretly thinking this is definitely a good look.
25) Eating a piece of food that has fallen into your cleav*ge.
26) Using your br* as pockets, because let’s face it: Women’s jeans pockets are completely useless.
27) Storing something in your br*, forgetting about it, and only remembering it when you take off your br* that night and it just falls out.
28) Master*ng taking off your br* without removing your top.
29) And doing this pretty much every time you get home from work.
30) Only shav*ng your legs when you know they’re going to be on the show.
31) And then only shav*ng the b*ts that will show.
32) Shav*ng your toes.
33) Forgetting to shav* your toes.
34) Being slightly insulted, but also happy when you go for a lower-leg wax and they do your toes without asking.
35) Playing with your own bo*bs in the mirror.
36) Squishing them together and wishing you could get a br* that was half as good as your own hands.
37) Pushing them up to your chin to see what you’d look like in a cors*t from the olden days.
38) Pushing them down to see what they’ll look like when they get sagg*er.
39) Making ’em do a lil’ dance.
40) Plucking your nip*le ha*rs.
41) And the ones around your belly button.
42) Quite enjoying popp*ng a spot.
43) And trying to p*p the ones that aren’t quite ready yet.
44) Scratching your b*ts and then having a little sn*ff, just to make sure it’s all good down there.
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