One of the greatest sources of stress and dissatisfaction in your life is your constant desire to control what happens to you—to get what you want and let go of what you do not want. And that’s why you begin to complain about your life!
“Complaint” is an excellent word to describe the life circumstances that you wish were different, whether you are dissatisfied about the more important things (how your partner treats you) or the small things (cannot find the keys).
Even if a complaint is justified (your child cries all the time), it is still a complaint in the sense that you aren’t getting your way. You need to realize how your complaints add dissatisfaction and stress to your life and what it’d feel like to let go of them.
It is important to understand that an occasional complaint is necessary to get your expectations met, but constant complaining may be hazardous to your overall health and well-being.
In addition, we are going to discuss the effects of constant complaining – and how it alters your brain’s structure. If you are continually negative, you never seem to be satisfied with anything or anybody. You do not keep your feelings and thoughts to yourself; but you dwell on them.
And you either seek attention through complaining (you constantly dwell on about how you have got it worse than everybody else); or you just live in a constant state of complaint (you “repetitively go over a problem or thought without completion.”)
Toxic behaviors like complaining, if allowed to loop within your brain all the time, will eventually alter your thought processes. And altered thoughts can result in altered beliefs, contributing to a change in your behavior.
Your brain possesses something known as the negativity bias. It is actually your brain’s tendency to focus more on negativity than positivity. Your brain is just designed with a higher sensitivity to unpleasant news.
According to neuroscientist and author of Buddha’s Brain, doctor Rick Hanson, negative stimuli create more neural activity than positive ones do. Negative stimuli are perceived faster and more easily, as well.
When you always focus on the negative and complain about everything, you are actually firing as well as re-firing the neurons, which are responsible for the negativity bias.
It is impossible to be happy all time – and you shouldn’t try. But, you need to find ways to get rid of negative thinking. Studies have found that mindfulness and meditation are the most potent tools for reversing negative thinking patterns.
According to Positive Psychology researcher, Barbara Fredrickson, and other researchers at the University of North Carolina, those who meditate every single day are more positive than people who don’t.
Following a 90-day experiment, her research team concluded that “those who meditated every single day kept displaying reduced illness symptoms, and increased mindfulness, social support and purpose in life.”
So, you need to learn the basics of meditation and then create a daily meditation schedule, which works for you. And it will definitely make a big difference in your life!
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